Thursday, December 31, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


May 2010 be 1000 times better than 2009. Amen.

Thoughts on New Years. Since I was born very early in the morning on New Years this is a complicated holiday for me.

Growing up, my birthday was pretty much an afterthought..."oh choose a present from under the tree Dear for your birthday".

I only remember two birthday parties. My parents were always too broke or too hung over to give it too much thought.

Where are the violins when you need them?


Of course after I grew up, I created my own New Year's and birthday traditions.
(Most of which involved a lot of alcohol).

I have found though that I still at the ripe old age of ahem almost 48, that I STILL have issues with being a New Year's baby.

How sad.

We didn't go anywhere this year for a couple of reasons:

1) I am still recovering from the Swine Flu aka H1N1

2) I no longer will have my birthday linked with the New Year.

Let me explain.

We have had parties. We have gone to parties.

We have gone to concerts...more than I can count.

The commen denominator is that my husband has linked our fabulous New Year's Eve festivities with celebrating my birthday.

Sad, sad, I know. Again, where are the violins? Or the clowns? Or at least frickin' Mick Jagger?

He will brag to all and wide about our very expensive and wonderful plans. And not celebrate my birthday.

I'm sorry, but I am just that selfish enough that I would like just once to have it be "all about me".

Because isn't that what a birthday is all about?

Huh?

Bueller?



Again, what in the hell has this to do with New Year's?

Nothing. Just me venting.


Soooooo.....May 2010 be WAY better than 2009.

Because honestly, other than Tina Fey immitating Sarah Palin there wasn't a whole lot of positive.

Just saying.

Love You Pooks! Happy New Year!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas (Again)


Am I repeating myself? Again? It sucks getting older.

WTH I'll say it again. I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas, whether your idea of wonderful is spent with family, cruising the internet, seeing a movie, or all of the above.

Actually I think I've done all of this in the last two days. A Merry Christmas indeed.

We had the family over for our traditional Xmas Eve Celebration. Not everyone could be there, but it was a good time.

We ate way too much ham, and mashed potatoes, crescent rolls and mac and cheese. Oh, and the garlic butter smeared on everything. Mhmmmm garlic butter.

Why don't I make ham more often? It's so easy and oh so tasty. Much easier than say, brining a bloody turkey.

So after dinner and our gag gift white elephant (the leopard Snuggie was the hit of the night), we played Left, Right, Center. Good times.

I realized this morning that I didn't take any pictures! Blasphemy, I will definately have to work on the picture thing this year.

Maybe that should be my New Year's resolution...since that whole weight loss thing is such a bust.

Oh, and SgtMaj and I went to see It's Complicated this morning. Hysterical movie! I love Meryl Streep. And even though Alec Baldwin is not my favorite person, he was pretty funny in this movie as well.

Oh, and we were the youngest people in the theatre. hehehe. Maybe because it was the 10 am matinee? hehe. Maybe. Whatever the reason I'll take it.

So now it's a quiet day for me and the SgtMaj. Cornish Game hens, a book, and a couple of movies.

Merry Christmas indeed.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas!!!





First I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!
Whether you are Christian or not (not), this is a time where we are (hopefully) a little more understanding, a little more empathetic.

If not, there's plenty of liquor to go around, if you're lucky.



Side note: the SgtMaj and I stopped on the way home from work at Dominick's Grocery (Your store Lisa, even though you are on vacation). I really had to use the little girl's room as the traffic was so bad in the snow (insert earlier post about moronic Chicago drivers here), it took a really loooong time to get into the city.

Back to liquor. Since we had to stop anyway we bought a couple of cases of beer and a case of wine.....the check out girl looked at us like we were complete alcoholics! I'm sorry but any time you get several of my family members together you need a little sumpin' sumpin' as my Great Grandma would say.

Soooooo.....where am I going with this? As I bring together most of my favorite people: the Pooks and her new husband, the SgtMaj, my favorite brother and his wife, my nephew (Angie come back from Florida!), I am thankful that we are all safe and healthy and together.

Mom, Dad and Elvis: Have a dance on us; we miss you!
Seriously, I need a new camera! Pretty please!






Love and peace to all from The Snarky Table.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Lake Geneva




Over the last few years my daughter and I have had our own little Christmas celebration the weekend prior to the family dinner held at my house (condo, whatever). Normally we do lunch, exchange our gifts to each other and bitch about loved ones.


Seriously folks, isn't that what we all do? Be honest here


This year we decided to do a little overnight trip to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin.

Wisconsin you ask? In winter?

Seems a little odd as Lake Geneva is the traditional summer playground for Chicagoans but it's close and quite a bit quieter than downtown. Quiet was important.



So I picked her up on my way home from work and we made our way to the great white north. (Only an hour BTW). Even though the forecast was snowy the drive was only damp and we made in it one piece.

Editorial Note: My camera decided to crap out yet again, and the picture above is from Flickr. Maybe Mama needs a new camera? Huh? One I can charge the battery instead of having to buy bloody stock in Duracell.



We stayed at the Grand Geneva Resort (very pretty, I will be back!) The lake was half frozen and very beautiful.

We went to dinner at Calvetti's on Main Street. Note to self in the future: Share. Good food, great margaritas.
We drove around looking at the lights before returning to the resort to exchange gifts and drink a lot of wine. Thanks Lor for all the gifts, my skin is no longer a thirsty mess! Great time, great resort. Again, we'll be back (did I say that already?)


Next morning we ordered room service and I "must say" (insert Ed Grimley voice here), that it was hands down the best room service breakfast I have ever had. Pricey, but very good.

We wandered downtown in the little shops.

The Global Gourmet is a personal favorite of both of us and picked up a few things along the way.

And honestly folks: a 75% markup from Chicago, the home of inflated prices? Do we look stupid to you? I don't mind spending money on a good hotel room and a tasty bottle (or two or three) of wine, but I'm not paying $18 for Cubs candy canes! Bah humbug to you.


All in all a nice quiet Christmas trip. Love You, Pooks.






Monday, December 14, 2009

My Girl


I couldn't let another post go by without telling the story of My Girl.


It's hard to believe this little girl is now a quarter of a century old. Makes me feel my age more and more.

After the loss of our son prematurely early in our marriage, the obstetrician found numerous problems with my plumbing.

End result was they didn't think I would ever be able to hold a baby to term. At that time we were content with our active social life and our two dogs, Trooper and Smudge....


As the months passed more problems were discovered and the Naval Doctors strongly recommended that we consider adoption.

One morning (just a couple of weeks before the SgtMaj was scheduled for a vasectomy), I woke up with the need to try for a baby, just one more time. If I didn't carry the baby to term we would adopt.

And so we happily tried to have a baby.........nothing happened.

I couldn't believe it. All of my friends had babies, my own teenie tiny mother popped out 5! Why couldn't I have one?

So we went to Disney World.....and you guessed it, a wish was granted or baby conceived, which ever way you want to look at it.

I was bedridden for most of the pregnancy. I had pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and went into premature labor twice. What a long 10 months that was!

That's right, 10 months! In typical Lauren fashion she was late!! All those months of living in fear that I would deliver early and the little snot was late. (Trust me I spent another 2 decades waiting for her)


But hazzah!

She was born after just 38 hours of hard labor with no anesthesia (not recommended!). And she was beautiful! We were both in tears hearing her cry.


All of the worry, the varicose veins, weight gain, and other unmentional side effects was worth it to look into those beautiful blue eyes.


Two weeks after her birth we were driving to Cape Cod for a new duty station. In a 2 door, Ford Escort without air conditioning, Oh and it was August people! That's a whole other story!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

A Fable




Once Upon a Time when Kennedy was president and the nation optimistic, a handsome hoodlum from the big city met a cute little bobbie socker from the country. It was April Fool's Day. They didn't know what hit them.


They fell in love and let nature take its course.....and since this was before The Pill, the bobbie socker was soon with child.



They married quickly as was the custom in those days.


A few short months later, New Year's Day to be exact, she gave birth to a tiny baby girl (Trust me I gained weight quickly).

Luckily she had the forsight to enter into a contest with the local newspaper that provided the first baby of that year with many gifts, or else said baby would have been sleeping in a dresser drawer since they were so broke.


And so they became a family that grew and grew and grew.




To be continued......

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Chicago + Winter = Snow

Letter to the drivers in Chicago:

Seriously, do the math. If you can't or are unwilling to learn how to drive in snow please invest in a Metra pass. Thank You.

As a side story to this: I have a fairly long commute to work, an hour each way if the weather is nice and there's no traffic. I am on time to work every day. I have an emergency bag in my locker at work just in case we are snowed in.

My co-worker who lives in Wisconsin took yesterday off just in case it snowed. WTH? 'Nuff said

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Beginning....

So, my very first post.

After the unexpected death of my mother this summer I realized that if I were to go suddenly that all of the strange, quirky family stories would die with me.

This is my attempt to record all of these stories along with my observations of the random and the strange.

Welcome to my world!